Marketing Lies As They Are

Posted: 1st December 2012 by Medea in Life as it is
Tags: , ,

Lie: “Our products are [cutting-edge, leading-edge, bleeding-edge].”
Truth: “This is a beta release that we’re hoping you’ll debug for us.”

Lie: “Our products are [state-of-the-art, third generation, web-capable].”
Truth: “We have products but no idea why you’d want to buy them.”

Lie: “We will exceed your expectations.”
Truth: “We can’t because we just raised them with this stupid remark.”

Lie: “We want to be your partner not just your provider.”
Truth: “We want to lock in your account to keep competitors out.”

Lie: “We developed our product with your business objectives in mind.”
Truth: “We’re praying that we have something you think you need.”

Lie: “We are the industry leader.”
Truth: “We know this is a meaningless claim, but it sounds cool.”

Lie: “Our products are [extraordinary, excellent, unique].”
Truth: “We have no idea how to quantify the benefits of buying.”

Lie: “We provide 360 degree service.”
Truth: “When you call, you end up running around in circles.”

Lie: “We provide world-class customer service.”
Truth: “When you call, the service tech will barely speak English.”

Lie: “We have the lowest cost of ownership.”
Truth: “Our product is massively overpriced.”